meaning life insurance from a company that you no longer work for or pay for and where dose that money go

Where does the money go when you buy a lottery ticket, and can't collect on it? Same principal.

Life insurance is NOT a savings account.

Term life builds no cash value. If you had it from an employer there is no money to be had.

Whole life can build cash value over time but it takes years to build any real significant value.

In your case the answer would likely be no.